More often than not, I avoid free writing in places that the public can read. That isn't to say I have a following of people who read this stupid thing; it's just a paranoia thing.
I avoid writing this stuff down because I notice contradictions in my logic coming up. I then stop writing, proof read, and remove all possible statements that demonstrate my logical dilemmas, even though I wrote them. That is a bad habit. By doing so, I'm passively reinforcing those dilemmas, when I should be acknowledging, and addressing them.
I am so out of the loop. It's amazing how effortlessly it happened. In the span of two weeks, I went from regular socialization, to a per/month basis. How did this happen? I could count with one hand the people who contact me regularly (work/family excluded).
The best part of all of this is knowing that life goes on with or without you. Nobody knows I'm here.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Saturday, July 10, 2010
7.9.2010
Student loan overdue, medical bill overdue, accounting error at work making approx 50 of my hours vanish in a puff of smoke. I'm starting to breathe a bit better though. Certain debts are getting cleared. I'm now all clear of my old moving costs. My tips at Koji's are getting better and my hours are decent thus far.
Speaking of breathing, i'm actually quitting smoking this time. I just gotta knock it off. I was healthy for a long time, running half-marathons, consistent weight training. Lately I haven't been running because a stupid ankle injury from mid April is still barking at me and it won't stop hurting. I can't switch gyms until my membership at Giant's in NE has been paid off. That means I owe them money for not using their product/service. I know I signed a form, but it doesn't make sense. I live on the other side of town now, I'm walking distance from 24 hour fitness, and I'm not about to pay for another membership on top of another one I don't use. Back to kicking the habit, I'm pretty much over the first hump I think. The 2-3 days of headaches, cold-sweats, insomnia is on the downward slope. What's left now is replacing the associations with smokes: coffee, going to work, getting off work, out and about with friends, etc.
You don't care,
Phil
Speaking of breathing, i'm actually quitting smoking this time. I just gotta knock it off. I was healthy for a long time, running half-marathons, consistent weight training. Lately I haven't been running because a stupid ankle injury from mid April is still barking at me and it won't stop hurting. I can't switch gyms until my membership at Giant's in NE has been paid off. That means I owe them money for not using their product/service. I know I signed a form, but it doesn't make sense. I live on the other side of town now, I'm walking distance from 24 hour fitness, and I'm not about to pay for another membership on top of another one I don't use. Back to kicking the habit, I'm pretty much over the first hump I think. The 2-3 days of headaches, cold-sweats, insomnia is on the downward slope. What's left now is replacing the associations with smokes: coffee, going to work, getting off work, out and about with friends, etc.
You don't care,
Phil
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